‘Who Dies?’ is the title of a wonderful book by Stephen Levine which helps us to understand that, although the death of our body will certainly occur one day, who we truly are does not cease to exist. This knowledge can be of great comfort when we lose somebody very dear to us.

I’ll share with you the example of two friends of ours, both of whom lost someone they treasured and adored. One is elderly, the other a boy of only nine years.

I’ll tell you about Moyia first. At the time of writing, this wonderful lady has been living for 3 years without the physical presence of her identical twin sister, Dorothy. During their long life together they were seldom apart. They both worked as occupational therapists, wore identical pink clothes, and refused opportunities to marry as they could not bear to live separate from each other.

Dorothy and Moyia both yearned and prayed for death to take them together, but Dorothy weakened in her eightieth year and left her body while they were in India together at the ashram of Sathya Sai Baba. Moyia was grief-stricken beyond compare but within two weeks had developed an unshakeable determination to remember that it was not Dorothy who had died – it was her body, the earthly vehicle. She felt that her dearest companion and friend was now closer to her than ever before, and that an outpouring of love to others was the key to rediscovering her joy in living.

Moyia began talking to her spirit sister as if she was physically present, sharing her thoughts and feelings as she always had. She asked Dorothy to channel her beautiful temperament through this one earth-bound body so they could shower love on more people at an ever deeper level.

Today at the age of 83 years Moyia is vibrant with an effervescent energy which enfolds and nurtures all around her. She is invited to speak throughout the world and runs workshops on the power of love to lift one’s spirits and solve life’s problems.

If Moyia was asked to speak to us about Dorothy we can hear her say,
‘Dorothy’s not dead. She’s here with me right now. She is busy helping the Lord in other realms, but whenever I think of her she comes to me in an instant. Although I miss her physical presence, I don’t allow myself to dwell on that thought. Instead I invite her to join with me in showering love on the world.’

Moyia insists that she is a better human being since Dorothy left her body because ‘now there are two loving souls in this body, not just one’.

The second example I’d like to share with you is that of my young friend James. When he was only 8 years old his kind and loving father suddenly died after a severe illness. Of course James was grief-stricken, yet surprised his mother and other relatives with his ability to laugh and play in between short bouts of sobbing quietly alone in his room.

A few weeks after he helped cast his father’s ashes into a holy river in India. I sought his permission to enquire into his understanding about grief, loss and death. This is my memory of our conversation:

Ron: James, I know you love your Daddy very much.

James: Yes I do.

Ron: And I know that you miss him a lot. Sometimes you cry in your room.

James: Yes

Ron: James, can you tell me where your Daddy is now?

James: He’s with God, and he’s in here (patting his chest)

Ron: And where is God?

James: God is everywhere. He is in everybody. He is in you too.

Ron: So where is Daddy now?

James: Like I tell you, he is in God. He is here now, listening to us.
              He can be anywhere he wants.

All this from a bereaved boy who within the next few months became an extraordinary example to all of his adult mentors of joy in living. He remains strong in his faith that his father is truly alive and well. He told us that he was aware of his father’s guiding presence, always at hand as soon as James thought about him. Now 2 years later, he still sheds a tear if I speak of the love and beauty that I saw in his dad, but within seconds is happily engaged in the present moment. He demonstrates to us how not to linger in loss but rather to step once again into the reality that we are, each one, immortal beings of love, wisdom and joy.

James was not the first young person I had encountered who was unfazed by the presence of death. Some years earlier I had seen a BBC documentary on a 9 year old boy who was captivating the media in the UK with his philosophy of living and dying. This extraordinary child had an incurable form of cancer, which he knew was going to decimate his body in a few short weeks.

In the part of the film that impressed me the most he said,

Why should I be frightened of dying? It’s really no different to stepping out of your clothes to have a bath or go to bed. The body is just like your clothes. When you don’t need it any more you just step out of it and leave it behind. Dying is not something to be worried or frightened about.

It occurred to me that he must be what is sometimes referred to as an ‘old soul’, someone who came to this earthly plane for just a short time in order to share his wisdom with us. His words would have reassured all those who had lost a child to illness or tragedy that their treasured one did not die, but was alive and ever-present. And I’ve no doubt that there were many viewers like myself who were led one step closer to becoming fearless about our own inevitable departure from this mortal form.

Moyia and James and the boy on TV are not alone in their wisdom. Theirs is not a secret teaching. It just lies unseen, all around us, waiting until our pain and yearning lead us to embrace its message of healing.